#1: Brits Don't Eat While Driving.
I asked Brian the Cameraman if he ever eats while driving. He looked at me and said "Do I what?" I repeated said question, and he looked at me horrifyingly. I said "Eat food.. you know. Like have a burger while driving. It's quite common." and he replied "Common indeed!" So that about sums that whole situation up. Although, who doesn't like a nice burger while driving.. it's so much fun to navigate the roads with a big ol' meat patty in your palm. Juicy.


#2: Brits Don't Worship At The Altar Of Thanksgiving.
Yes, yes, I know that this is all in celebration of the Pilgrims leaving England to settle in the colonies and eating a nice hearty "gifted" meal of stale corn and gamey meat that was probably not cooked adequately. But if anything, I think the English are the ones who should be celebrating this one moreso than the States.. I mean, come on. The Pilgrims sucked. The Brits should be happy they left the country! They were boring (obviously), wore homely clothing, didn't like anything "fancy" ..I mean they didn't even celebrate holidays, yet there's a holiday dedicated to them. It makes me sad that no British person will ever know the joys of eating copious amounts of delicious meat, gravy, stuffing, sweet potatos with marshmallows and GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE and then taking a nice long nap on a chair in a corner by yourself. Plus get a break from classes. To quote an outdated Twitter phenomenon.. " #winning "


#3: Brits Don't Think Of Austin Powers When They Hear The Word "Shag."
They just don't.
 Although to be fair, in my mind I think of shag carpeting, then Austin Powers, but then I think of Austin Powers on the shag carpeting, and then I can hear his voice speaking Austin Powers words, and then I just shut my mind off because well.. I don't really want to think about that.

#4: Brits Don't Have The Joys Of Junk Food.
I miss dearly my Cosmic Brownies, Pop Tarts, Cheez-Its, Star Crunch, Twinkies, Fruit Snacks.. Potato Oles and Taco Bell Crunchwrap Supremes. And free refills on soda. I dearly miss these things, and I bet British people would too if they ever got to taste their sweetly saturated caloric goodness. They just really don't have comparable things here. Even their "naughty" cereals are just like Cocoa Krispies (well, they're called Coco Pops) or they 'frost' something that is usually unfrosted. Our "naughty" cereals are small cookies that you happen to pour milk onto. This also means that.. #4.5: Brits Don't Often Look Like Contestants On "The Biggest Loser." and #4.55: Brits Don't Have "The Biggest Loser."

#5: Brits Don't Get To Say "Like Oh My God Totally."
Not entirely true, because they can say it, but they really can't get away with it like us Americans can. Let's face it. We assimilated Valleygirl speech into our normal vocabulary, everybody from every other country assumes we speak like it anyways. So just embrace it. Because no matter how hard anybody with a non-American accent tries, they just can't perfect it in like, such a totally right-on way. Ohmygod, I'm so right! So just like, own it! (Or don't.. hahaha. Or DO.)